Winners and Losers: Independence Day Edition

by Ronald A. Rowe July 4th, 2013 | Winners & Losers
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fireworksAm I the only one who thinks it’s funny that the leader of Egypt’s military is named “el Sissi”? Oh, I am? OK. Well, on with this week’s special Independence Day Winners and Losers

Marco Rubio — Loser — Marco Rubio just can’t catch a break. He got the biggest opportunity of his political career and delivered a solid speech in rebuttal to President Obama but all anyone remembered was the water bottle. Now he’s back in the headlines and abandoned by his friends for the most appalling of all political crimes — independent thinking.

The People of Egypt – Winners? – Egyptian Spring was so popular that it is back for an encore. Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi, so recently hailed as a heroic reformer, is on his way out. The people earned hard-fought independence from . . . their duly elected president . . . who was replaced by a military junta . . . to the wild adulation of the Egyptian people.

DOMA – Loser – The Defense of Marriage Act is deader than Generalisimo Francisco Franco.  The Supreme Court pushed through a full-slate of Pro-Gay Rights (and interestingly enough, tangentially Pro-States Rights) legislation last week. Those who were hoping to use DOMA as shield and sword to preserve their independence from recognizing gay marriage will need to look elsewhere.

Law Enforcement — Loser- – The George Zimmerman trial, already a mockery of justice on several levels — took a turn for the ludicrous this week. And I’m not even referring to the hilarious Skype-bombing (soon to be an internet meme) of a witness on Tuesday. I’m talking about the prosecution’s successful motion to have the comments of Sanford Police Detective Chris Serino stricken from the record. Apparently police officers, who are trained in the science of deception detection, are now and forever prohibited from offering an opinion in court about the truthfulness of a suspect. I guess this restriction will have to do until RoboCop is a reality and police work becomes independent from all human emotion.

Evo Morales — Loser — Talk about no respect. Bolivian President Evo Morales’ ego must be hurting this week. His presidential jet was refused access to the airspace of four European nations because — wait for it — someone somewhere thought that (Chose One: Heroic Whistleblower / Nefarious Traitor) Edward Snowden might be on board. Morales’s plane was forced to resort to an emergency landing in Austria just to avoid disaster. Upon arrival it was discovered that Snowden was . . . somewhere else, independent and free.

Congressional Democrats — Winners — The immigration reform legislation being promoted by Democrats in Congress got a big boost of legitimacy this week when the putatively politically-independent Congressional Budget Office released a report that supported the assertions of the legislation’s crafters and, in some cases, even improved on them.

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