Identification is clearly a luxury instead of a right. That is, if you believe that the poor find it impossible to obtain, while having no actual use for it. Unfortunately, in our society, the ID is the most prevalent form of proving our identity. But even that is pretty tenuous in the era of identity theft.
Identity theft aside, you need an ID every time you go to cash a check, ride a plane, drive a car, or buy certain products. So what’s the big deal about showing it to vote? It is merely a confirmation that you are American citizen and alive.
Yes, being alive is important. After all, it is still impossible for a dead person to vote. Yet, somehow they still do. Which begs the question of how? Well, the obvious answer is fraud and identity theft. Unless zombie hoards are invading the polling places. In which case, the CBO has a definite procedure on how to avoid that particular threat. I don’t know. Do Zombie votes count? The Supreme Court has yet to rule on that particular legal point.
Zombie voting would definitely be a new one. Adapting the polling places for zombies might be a bit tricky though, since they are technically still dead. They would definitely need their own locations. Not too many people are going to want to vote alongside a hoard of zombies. Certainly not with the probable health issues and this weird attraction to brains that zombies have. The question of how to cast a vote when the arms have fallen off poses quite a challenge to designers of the zombie voting system.
So, clearly one needs to be alive to cast a ballot. This is an important yet overlooked fact.
Being an American citizen is also a prerequisite to casting a ballot. An American citizen is given an ID number at birth. It is the number that they get stuck with until they die, unless the request to change it is made. That number is what is used to keep track of your Social Security, hence the name Social Security number. Certainly, the poor in this country have it. The hospitals automatically submit this paperwork for every child born even if the baby decides to make an earlier than expected appearance. You can also submit the paperwork yourself for a home birth situation.
At 16, this paperwork is often demanded by your child so they can take that important adult step of driving a car. Sure, it is a nerve-wracking time for parents. But there it is, the driver’s license. No car, no gas money, but your child has that driver’s license and an identity. They can’t vote yet. But they still have an identity given to them. The one that states that they are an American citizen and that they are legally able to terrorize the roads.
States are even offering the acquiring of an identity card for free minus the ability to drive. But now the argument navigates to getting to these places. This argument assumes that this group of people doesn’t actually go anywhere. So how does one go from point A to point B in a city full of people? Public transportation is usually an option. Catching a ride, walking, and bicycling are also very popular travel methods. Unless one is a zombie, and then walking is really your only option.
Well, we do know one thing. It is a lot harder to get an ID card as a zombie. Who knows where that birth certificate went? But don’t worry, zombies, you can still vote in States without ID cards. Provided that you can still pretend you’re alive. Of course, it is easier to have someone else do the voting for you.
