Can They Take a Nobel Prize Back?

by Ronald A. Rowe July 5th, 2010 | Political Humor, Political Opinions
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It isn’t easy saving the world. Sometimes, you have to make tough choices. Let’s say, for example, that you are on a mission to single handedly save the world from the global warming caused by former President George Bush. Sure, you’ll win a Nobel Prize for making a movie of yourself standing in front of an easel displaying factually-inaccurate slides. That’s good. And you’ll make hundreds of millions of dollars selling nonsensical “Carbon Offset Credits” to corporations willing to buy goodwill with the environmental crowd while continuing to pollute just as much as before. That’s pretty nice, too.

But being the Savior of the Environment is hard on a man. It will make him act like such a complete jerk that his wife of 40 years will have no choice but to leave him. It will make him act, at times, like a “crazed sex poodle”. These things happen. It’s all part of being the Guy Who Saved the World.

Likewise, if you win a Nobel Prize for being elected President of the United States, it brings a lot of pressure. Consider that none of the previous presidents received the Nobel Prize just for being elected. Ronald Reagan bankrupted the Soviet Union, and he didn’t win the Nobel Prize. George H.W. Bush presided over the end of the Cold War, and he didn’t even get reelected.

So, a man who can better the world just be being elected, before he actually accomplishes anything, he can be forgiven if he has to make a few compromises along the way. If he can’t find his birth certificate, well, that isn’t any of your business. He’s got a world to save.

If he made the occasional illicit deal to exchange certain favors for political positions, that’s OK. You don’t know what it’s like; you’ve never single handedly saved the reputation of the United States of America. You’ve never had to deal with bank failures, oil spills, and a terrible economy that was 100% your predecessors fault.

It isn’t easy saving the world. All we, the people, can do to help is continue to heap awards and accolades on the men entrusted with that responsibility, without ever demanding any actual results from them.

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